How To Build Resilience
In life, we face trauma, adversity and other stresses.
So how do we still live a meaningful life in the midst of difficult situations?
How do we adapt to life-changing situations, and emerge even stronger than before?
In this article, I will be sharing with you 7 strategies that you can use to build your resilience and improve your mental health.
Take a moment and imagine you’re going on a hike. In preparing for that hike, the Hike Coordinator provides an overview of what you can expect on the hike depending on the trail you’re taking. You may encounter some steep hills, some rocky and muddy trails, lots of bushes, and so on.
Photo Credit: Kevin David
There might also be some unexpected circumstances, such as, a tree fall blocking the trail, weather changes, flash flooding, heat exhaustion, dehydration, snakes and the list goes on.
So how would you make sure you can safely cross the obstacles and handle any unexpected problems that come from this challenge?
Well...perhaps you would enlist the support of more experienced hikers or rely on the companionship of trusted friends along the way.
Maybe you would pack hiking gear essentials, such as weather-appropriate clothing, hiking boots or shoes, plenty food and water, First-aid kit, knife and multi-tool kit.
By having the right tools and supports in place, you will not only make it through the challenges of your hiking adventure but you can also emerge a more confident hiker. This principle can also be applicable to the hike called, “Life”.
What is Resilience?
In life, you will experience difficult moments. I use the word, “moments” because these difficulties are temporary situations.
People also face traumatic events, such as the loss of a loved one, an accident, crime and violence, or a serious illness and these events are likely to have a lasting impact.
Although people may experience similar situations, challenges affect people uniquely and generally, people adapt to the challenge or change experienced over time. How come? Because for the most part, people are resilient.
Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of challenging situations. While resilience involves “bouncing back”, it can also bring about personal growth.
The process of resilience teaches us that amidst our painful experiences, we don’t have to be victims of our circumstances because there are other aspects of our lives that we can control, change and grow with.
Do you know that the most resilient persons are usually the ones who’ve gone through a lot of challenges? Yes!
But how come? Building resilience is like building a muscle. It takes time and intentionality.
So here are seven strategies that you can use to increase your capacity to grow from and emerge stronger from difficult situations.
Tip 1: Shift Your Focus
Many people wait for their storms to pass to be happy. We are always waiting for the perfect moment.
Allow yourself to process the challenges but avoid ruminating (persistent focus on negative thoughts). Instead, shift your focus to the things in your life that are meaningful for you.
Focus on your focus
Tip 2: Take Charge of Your Thoughts
Your thoughts impact how you feel and how resilient you are when faced with difficulties. When you feel overwhelmed, remind yourself that this does not mean that you cannot still experience a good future.
You may not always be able to change your situation, but you can change your view of it and your response.
Tip 3: Avoid Defining Yourself By Your Circumstances
Are you defined by your job? a relationship? your physical appearance? When these things go away, what do you have left?
One of the things we can count on in life is CHANGE. Our circumstances change so it’s risky to base your identity on your circumstances.
Even if you are in a painful and difficult situation right now, there will come a point when this pain or difficulty will not be as intense or existent.
Recall where you’ve been able to find strength in the past and what you’ve learned from those experiences.
A crumpled $100.00 is still $100.00. It still has value and worth.
Tip 4: Get Connected and Stay Connected
Pain and hurt can cause some persons to isolate themselves.
A wounded soldier who is alone is more likely to die than a wounded soldier who is surrounded by people who care about him or her.
We are social beings. We need people.
Connect with people who can remind you that you are not alone in the midst of difficulties. Connect with people who are trustworthy, empathetic and who can support you.
Accept help.
Tip 5: Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is very important for improving your mental health and building resilience.
Stress is physical and emotional. Pay attention to your diet, sleeping habits, hydration levels and engage in regular exercise.
These lifestyle habits can strengthen your body to adapt to stress and increase your capacity to manage your emotional bandwidth when faced with difficulties.
Consistently carve out time for spiritual connection and refreshing. This can be especially helpful in restoring hope and reflection on the positive aspects of our lives even during personal trials.
When people are in deep pain, they are often tempted to put a bandage on a deep wound.
They may try to mask their pain with alcohol, drugs or other substances.
While you might be temporarily relieving the feeling of stress, in the long-term, you are breaking down your body’s resources to manage stress and build your emotional resources.
Tip 6: Give Back
Giving back to others gives people a sense of purpose and allows them connect with others and support them, which can also be beneficial to your growth in resilience.
Tip 7: Take it moment by moment
I use the phrase, “moment by moment” because when we experience difficult and painful experiences, going through life day by day might seem like a tall order.
Take small, manageable steps towards your healing or breakthrough.
Sometimes, you have to crawl until you can walk, walk until you can run, run until you can fly and fly until you can soar.
But guess what?! You have not stopped moving… each moment, each step may seem like a small accomplishment but it moves you closer towards your goals.
So ask yourself, “What can I do today that helps me move me in the direction I want to go?”
Sometimes, people experience challenges when building resilience and may feel stuck in trying to perform their daily responsibilities due to a traumatic or stressful experience.
You are not alone on this journey.
You can grow by focusing on the aspects of life’s challenges that you can manage with the support of loved ones and trusted professionals.
Don’t allow fear to get in the way of seeking help.
We all need support in one way or the other.
Call or email for your free initial 30-minute consultation or to book a counselling session
If you found the strategies listed in the article helpful, share it with your friends, family and colleagues!
The Promise is in the Process...Don't suffer in silence
